"Knowing when love is true"

It been a while since I have been online to write in this blog to let you know how I am doing. Mary I read you blog and I have questions for you all. In group I talk about my relationship with you all and I came to the understanding that I was the one loving to much in this relationship. Atfer making up with my partner and reminding my self why I love this woman. I do feel that she has some kind of love for me.

I had a long talk with a friend of mine name Debora, she is always good to talk to and I like having her around to talk some since into me. She ask me 10 questions about my relationship. Some I couldn't answer and other I did. One question being how do you think she really feels about you. As hard as it was to answer I  told her what I felt in my heart. I think that my partner does love me, as much as she could love me in her own way. but Im not sure if she can truly love just me. I am a one woman, woman and Im still trying to know for sure if she is also but see it could go either way she is BI.

I often wonder if she is seeing some one other then me honestly don't feel like I would get the whole truth. I have put my every thing into loving again and it's so hard to take someone's word when I'm not even sure if her love for me is truely that Love.  I know that I am holding back alot just because I just don't know.
Debora asked me if I felt like she goes on dates with others or to dinner or lunch. I have no proof yet but I have a feeling that she might. I mean I try to see thing's from what would be her point of view and I think that she would see nothing wrong with going to lunch or dinner or maybe even a movie.

The last fight we had I drilled into my head that I couldn't allow my self to love her anymore then I do just so I wouldn't be hurt more if there was to be a problem. After talking with my partner I realized that I see most woman in this way , well the women that I know. After hearing her talk about her past and then seeing what kind of people she like to hang out with. In a way she reminded me of my mother. This group she was part of seem like all they do is fuck each other there all perv's and I can understand why they would become infected with something. There nothing but dirty talk, and parties that leads to a big orgy.

I was so hoping that that was her past and that I had found a woman that could and would be faithful. But Im still not sure of what I have. Because thing's that matter to me does matter so much to her, which is why I couldn't say that she wouldn't cheat on me.